Feeling Used by the people around you? Here's why you shouldn't

Feeling Used? Here’s Why you shouldn’t

This week, I posted a selfie with the words above.

This week, I posted a selfie with the words above.

            I woke up yesterday, crying. Well, not in that order. 

Image from quotesgram.com

Image from quotesgram.com

As I made breakfast, my mind wandered to the discussion I had with my friend about getting my work's worth, then I remembered the people whom I've helped in that regard. One person reached out to me when she newly set up her store. She was afraid she wouldn't sell because of her prices. Another told me she wanted to get paid for some contents on her site and keep some for free. I remember telling her "No, you can't do that for free!". Now, both women are doing well and the latter recently told me of her new pricing structure. This time, she figured it out all on her own.

One after the other, I thought of the other people I'd lent some advise to, and how they had gotten up. Then as I asked "What about me?", tears rolled down my eyes. 

"What about me?"

Some of us can't help but help others. And not helping could sink us into personal discontentment, while always being of help could make us experience this feeling of being used (P.s. I hate this phrase). It is my hope that this will be the last article you will ever read about this subject. Once you begin to see things differently, you will be the one telling others "Don't feel used. There's no such thing as being used" and together, we will break this symbiotic cycle. It is my prayer that you find yourself in a better place, where you can understand how you can use this gift to your advantage.

            Waaaiiittt! Did she just say "being used" is a gift?


We came into this world, each with a mission and a purpose. And we spend a huge chunk of our lives figuring out what that purpose is. Some of us were born leaders, some born servants, and some born in-between-ers, to intercede, or help people get from being servants to being leaders. 

If you were born to lead, lead. If you were born to serve, serve. If you were born to teach, teach. if you were born to take people from position A to an upwards position B, what's your excuse?

That is the gift I am talking about. Being used, or the feeling of being used is as a result of this innate gift in you to take people from a low place to a high place. It is a light that was put in you for a purpose and all you are experiencing is people gravitating towards that light, to ask for the help they know they will get.

You turn on a reading lamp in a dark room, knowing that it will illuminate the room and help you see what you are reading. You don't turn it on to land back into darkness.

So if you are ever in a position to help someone, don’t hold back. Do it, because that is your mission on earth. If you are in doubt, try this one day – deny someone help that you could have otherwise given them. What follows? Guilt! Immense guilt! The how-will-I-ever-forgive-myself type of guilt. So you see, you were born to do this. The moment you cut it out is the moment you will begin to experience dissatisfaction.

For those who get down on their knees to communicate with God, or are at least aware of Psalm 121, you will know that verse 1 says: “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.” Now ask yourself, “Who is this help?”. It is God, mobilizing you and I without having to send His angels. We are God’s help team on earth. When one of His children utters that Psalm, He immediately knows not to worry because YOU are there to help and He equipped you with everything you will need to help this person.

Picture God as a quality control specialist in a production chain. For every defective product, He has to pull it out, examine it and find a solution (let's not talk about discarding yet). Now, imagine if the damaged products could self-heal, or better still, if a product could correct the damage on the product beside it. Will God have to pull out that product to examine it? For every product that self-heals or is healed by an adjacent product, that is one less product for God to worry about. In essence, you who feel used and overused are God’s agents, to help others and speed up the production line while still ensuring quality. So when someone kneels down to tell God that they are looking up to Him for help, it is another way of them saying "Dear God, please send one of your own to help me". And He will. But are you willing to help?

So you see, when we feel "used", we are attempting to reject our mission, thereby playing ourselves instead of playing our part. You are not the helper; God is. You are only an agent of spreading God's love and peace. Therefore, if people reach out to you for help, know that there is something in you, and that gift isn't yours to keep. It is God's light shining so bright in you and if you dare withhold it, well, refer to the parable of the talents. God will take it from you without blinking.

We constantly say "God, use me, use me!" Then we turn around and complain when it's time to be "used". Remember, this is all God's work and you are only a tiny fraction of His agents. If you do not want to do the work, God has billions of others who will gladly take your place.

There is no such thing as "being used". If God doesn't use you to His glory, I don't know who will.

- Memkoh

Don't you think my friend whom I had this conversation with was the answer to my uttering of Psalm 121? Did he lose? Was God's purpose fulfilled at that point? Should my friend feel used? Why not? 
Because God's blessings to me were manifested through that conversation.

If you loved this article, please share and let me know if you've ever felt "used" or what you think about the topic.